Those of us pursuing meaning and purpose often find we need the good will of others and to do that we often have to change people’s minds:
- The best way to cause lasting change is to inspire it. Resist the temptation to argue. People rebel against force. Self-determination is a fundamental human need. So, to facilitate lasting change, self-determination must be left in tact. To do that means to inspire instead of force.
- The master works by allowing the people to think it was their own idea! Take a step back and ask yourself how you can a lovingly make your person come up with the good idea for herself.
- Show how what you want gives what they need. My little girl Bella and I were camping and, at twilight, the bats came out. Bella said, “I don’t like bats, Dad.” Well, I don’t like it when Bella says she doesn’t like any sort of animal so, when I lose my seat, my automatic response is to argue with her. Buy this time I simply said that the bats were there to eat the mosquitoes. Well, it turns out that Bella likes mosquitoes less than bats. She said, “I like bats, Dad!”
- Be careful not to confuse helping with fighting a power dynamic. Rebellion may have it’s place but it must be used meticulously and only where you are sure it will achieve your ends. Most often, it will probably be love and understanding that is your key.
- Don’t be angry at allies who seem to have given up. When Isabella gets frustrated, she sometimes gives up. Later, I can encourage her to try again, when her frustration has subsided and her curiosity has returned. It would be wrong (and counterproductive) of me to be mad at her for taking a break. Frustration and rest is part of the cyclical process of moving forward.
- Remember that you weren’t always so enlightened. In fact, it is a great privilege to be conscious and aware so consider being grateful instead of angry.
(photo via lookatmyhappyrainbow.com)
